I may be 3 inches smaller than yesterday. There are tiny crevices everywhere that keep sprouting out of nowhere and I find different kinds in everyday, some smaller than the first. I slip and find a wonderland, a time warp of amazing things. This is life — you get used to the daily grind and then you snap back. Something happens and you’re back to seeing things in a new perspective. Suddenly, all is new.
It was probably a year into work when I rediscovered momentum. In college I was confined to studying. My adventure bones were locked in a safe I didn’t have the passcode to. And then one day, I found it in gleaming fairy lights: LIFE is the password.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. – Oscar Wilde
Once I got the drive to really live it up, I had a newfound sense of belief and passion. I dwelt in infinite possibilities because I saw the world and realized that because we are this and this is now, nothing is impossible.
I lacked color so I went outside. The sun felt prickly on my skin but all the shades of blue I didn’t know were everywhere and the discovery was endless. So then and there I decided that I will never stay under the shade for too long. I will let the world color me, outside the outlines of my skin. I will always go, always do, because I learned it long and hard: one of the worst things you can do is not do. Don’t ever stop trying.
Now I’ve become the kind of person who lives to try, because as far as cliches go, there’s nothing to lose. And if ever there is, remember this: there’s also something to gain.
Opening up to the world was my rebirth. It allowed me to see beauty, honesty, and the good in the most unexpected places. I started dreaming dreams so big they could swallow me whole. These big dreams make you nervous and their vastness looms over you but that only means you’re in the right direction.
Sometimes I can’t help it. I get scared. Fear is not a choice, but what you do with it is. I traded fear for experience. The world taught me how to take fear by the hand, always believing in the great landing that comes after the big leap. I have been leaping for a couple of years now, and it has stretched me well beyond reason.
I have learned that some of the greatest experiences live in fear, so sometimes you have to knock on its door and face it, snatch your experience from it and be done with it. It’s a different kind of fulfillment that turns your life around.
The places I’ve been and the people I met along the way peeled my fears away. Sometimes all you have to do is speak, share, or ask. The world opened me to possibilities so I learned not to discount anything. It taught me to speak transcendently, to move through maps, to be patient amidst unbearable circumstances, to appreciate daily wonders such as sunsets, to trust the kindness of strangers, and to have the conviction of never losing hope.
I believe in longshots, in one in a billion probabilities. It will always be too early to strike anything off when it comes to things you can do. There’s always that gamechanger, that trailblazer, and it could be you.
There is so much self discovery in the world, so much to take in. It makes my head spin, a natural vertigo. I have never felt more lost but I have also never felt more sure of who I am.
So fell down the rabbit hole of seeing beyond buildings or oceans or people. I want to know the stories that make them up and explore the immensity of it all.
The unknown used to bother me, but I realized that everything I have loved took root from it. Now I live by this: “When nothing is sure, Everything is possible — Margaret Drabble.”
The world saved me because it showed me in so many ways that if this kind of wonder is possible then what isn’t? Because there is so much I want to know, see, do, I fell in love with movement. With going. With never standing still. With not getting too comfortable.
My story has just begun, my adventure just starting. I’m ready to shake it up and discover all the colors of life that have yet to be named.